turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Don't EVER smell your tampon
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize