I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
