Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Enjoy the penises
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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