Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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