You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize