dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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