Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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