I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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