He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
