by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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