I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
