You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
