Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
