yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
