If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
