I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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