I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
