It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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