i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
