So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
