we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Actions speak louder than pants.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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