I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
