As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
