he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize