It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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