That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
