We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
