this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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