On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
