Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
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