Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
