my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
BRING THE BAGELS
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