fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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