I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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