Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
