Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize