You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
