I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
