I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The Olympian is in my bed
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize