jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
