it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
