I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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