Screwed.edu
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
