you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
