i just wanna soil my oats bro
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
