He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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