Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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