I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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