I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize