ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
