he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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