My room smells like vodka and shame
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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