i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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