i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
