My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
