I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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