just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
